The 4th deathaversary with a side of meltdown

02/27/2017 Entry Today is a Monday. Wednesday is that dreaded day, the 4th anniversary of Brandon’s death. Why does society even call it an anniversary? Anniversary portrays a happy occasion. Wednesday is anything but. Anniversaries are celebrated…how can I celebrate his death? No, I really don’t like that word for this. It has apparently taken …

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The waves that come to visit

05/15/2016 Entry Last night, right after I turned off the bedside lamp, snuggled up with the cats, and closed my eyes to sleep, it came…that wave of sadness and panic that sometimes comes to visit. I laid there with tears streaming down my cheeks, suddenly trapped in the sharp claws of pure panic, having trouble …

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He’ll always be 25

07/15/2015 Entry      ***spoilers for Grey's Anatomy ahead*** It really bothers me when movies and TV shows get death wrong. I’m not talking about the actual death, but more of the aftermath of death; the fallout. It never fails, someone dies, and those affected are shown in snapshots of intense grief: crying, crying, screaming, …

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