The case is finally closed

Day 259: 11/15/2013 Entry

This morning I woke up to a phone call from Nick, the medical examiner’s assistant. He was there that night, and from what I remember of him, he seemed a little jaded, but I could see he cared, and was sad to have to sit there and talk to me minutes after finding Brandon. He was kind; I remember that.

With that same kindness, he told me that the medical examiner finally closed the case, and was ruling Brandon’s death a self-inflicted gunshot wound. He said that they repeated tests multiple times to see if it could be anything else, but in the end, it would seem my Brandon shot himself. One thing I did not know was that Brandon’s blood alcohol level that night was 0.23…that’s three times the normal limit.

Hearing him say these words brought me to the floor; I suddenly couldn’t keep pacing back and forth, I had to slide down and sit there, with tears bubbling just beneath the surface.

Nick will mail me the completed report in a couple of weeks, and I know I have to read every word; I need to understand.

Because right now I still don’t.